#but i'm gonna try to work on that next year
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callistocalavarni · 1 day ago
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shifting to the 60s
hii I havent posted in a while, I've been trying re group from multiple shifts while getting my life back in order but I think I'm back.. Anyway I have a bunch of stories from so many places I'd like to share and im currently working on how I want to post them. But I don't see a lot of storytimes so I think it would be fun to share some. So i'm gonna rant about some shorter ones here.
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shifting with sleep paralysis
I wanted to talk about this shift because it stuck out to me and I can't stop thinking about it.. I had shifted about 2 times in the span of 30 seconds. For a whole week back in October I was waking up at 3-5 am in the morning without being able to go back to sleep. So as you can guess I woke up at around 4 am and was restless. At around 6 am I got tired again so I started my method and I know people say that symptoms don't exist but in the time that I have shifted all I can say is that I disagree.. Anyway, one moment I was saying affimations and then the next I woke up all tingly and in a weird sleep state I've never been in before. I didn't even say to myself I wanted to shift I just did. It was like my mind was on autopilot. Didn't say affimations, didn't go through my script in my head, didn't even try to use the 5 senses. I just started seeing myself in 1st person and what I would be doing in my dr without any forethought and shifted. The first shift, I was on a track running with a couple of men and we all were wearing 60s running wear. I had an orange and red tank top with matching orange shorts. It had felt like there was an orange filter in this reality.. if that makes sense. I was on the track about to run and I just recall looking around laughing.
When I shifted to this moment its like I felt my consciousness leave my body; Which is the weird part because I've never really experinced this before. It felt like I was being pulled up by something and all I could hear was constant noise. I don't even know what noise I was hearing it was like someone was screaming right in my ear or veryyy loud ringing/static. The noise was SO loud. I was in the middle of sprinting when I shifted back because I thought I was the one making the noise, I thought I was screaming..Thankfully it was not me. But When I came back I was still In that state and I could look around me but my eyes were still closed. It's like I was seeing everything from a different perspective. There was a spider crawling on my wall right next to me when I shifted back so I freaked out and the noise got even louder ! The spider was leaving black spots all over my wall,, I could not figure out what was going on in the moment ( when I was writing this in my journal I figured out it was sleep paralysis ) It felt like I was tripping on a bunch of pain killers when I shifted back. I still couldn't move so I shifted again to the same reality but this time I was in the shower... the noise got even louder. The noise made it feel like a bad trip and I ended up shifting back here to try and stop it. It took my like an hour to get out of sleep paralysis. Unlike the method, this reality was very enyjoyable. It felt like a Nina Brodskyaya song, I lived alone and I was successful. I think I worked at a cigarette company, which is ironic because I hate smoking. But I don't know for sure as I didn't stay long enough to find out.
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Lumari is a country I scripted, Forlina being one of its nations.
This reality was late 70's early 80's and one of my favorite drs. I stayed here for about a year. I was in Forlina living in an all girls home. Forlina gives free housing to students so I moved out of my parents house to start collage. About six girls are given a room to share together, don't worry they are pretty big. I loved our room. It had big sliding windows that gave a view of the tropical forest. We each had sunken in beds, some girls who were home sick shared beds for a couple of weeks. It took me a while to get use to the amount of noise in the morning. There was this one girl who would blast music on the radio while getting ready. I only had to worry about this sometimes because I woke up pretty early. Art was one of my classes and the professer would make the class times either 7 am or 9 pm which also took me some time to get use to. idk the guy was kind of weird. I rode my bike everywhere here. I miss being able to ride down a bike trail and see the ocean. I've been thinking about shifting back here for some time. I might post more about this reality in more detail later.
<3
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divineerdrick · 18 hours ago
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Homestuck: Beyond Canon Upd8 for November 11, 2024
*flops*
Don't mind me.
Just gonna lie here while I do the Homestuck liveblog thing.
I am going to give a heads up. If my next migraine treatment brings me a bit more back in line, I'll be doing VLogs again. I have a bigger video project planned, but it's not Homestuck related. I'll be posting the updates here though, so you'll still know when I blog an upd8. Then you'll all get to see my haggard and aged face.
We begin with the monthly news upd8 from James. Except no! It is in fact an upd8 from Miles! James fades into the background, and apparently Miles will be our flattering correspondent from now on.
It looks like Miles is putting potential spoilers in the news post, so I might have to be careful in the future. Of course these might be jokes. We'll have to see.
Work continues on the planned [S] page and more Beyond Canon merch. We won't be getting an upd8 for December, but they will be running the Patreon. The next upd8 looks like it might be as late as February.
That's all unfortunate. But I fully support if the team wants to take a well earned holiday.
Upd8
Tavvy has decided to join Yiffy on an adventure. This can't possibly end well. His attempts at being her lackey have so far landed him mostly in trouble. And there's a heap of trouble brewing on the soon to be battlefield.
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Yeah that's not happening.
Heh! Harry brought the trail mix.
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Oh wow. And oh no!
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OH NO!!!
That can't possibly count as Heroic though. Getting sniped while performing a purely tactical role is not a hero's end. Still, Rose is probably glad the kids aren't seeing that.
And button.
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Interesting view to cut to.
Again, I don't think this will count as Heroic for anyone. But a lot of people are about to die. And let's not forget, none of the trolls currently outside for the Plot Point are God Tiers. This is bad. This is really bad. This is the kind of moment that calls for an extreme, deus ex machina, like the Plot Point has the potential for.
But we're not getting to see it yet.
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Orange curtains.
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Okay! Legitimately fantastic Psyche Out. They actually got me pretty good there.
Okay, we have a new troll it I think.
gavageCunctation is messaging Vrissy. Though that doesn't necessarily tell us much, except that a new player may have entered the drama.
And they're "negging" Vrissy. So this troll clearly sees themselves as a "player" too.
We've got a "game" that's about to be played. A game being run by a TC. Now Gamzee is dead, but that doesn't mean he didn't setup something before Vriska killed him. Still, it's likely these are two completely new troll kids.
We've got a new AA too. So we might be seeing more troll descendants. After all, they used cloning to kick things off. This troll is typing in purple, but blood typing may not be universal anymore. I do find it interesting that we're continuing the nucleotide pairs though. They could have gone for a different motif. Maybe they're trying to symbolize that these are potential paradox clones for a new session?
AA is apparently our chronic auspistice for this group. And potentially our Seer, though we've had fake-outs on that before.
And our actual cliffhanger ending is this new GC's computer exploding.
So yeah. Something has to happen for a lot of our beloved characters to not bite it. I'm also curious how Rose's vision of future events can come true if Jane has unleashed her weapon. But I mentioned last time that Rose is playing a dangerous game here. I don't think any of our God Tiers are in trouble, and I'm pretty sure the Plot Point is fine.
I'm wondering if this is how Calliope ends up sacrificing themself, if Rose was even correct there. Either way, this a dark ending for the year on a community that's already seen some dark endings.
*Returns to flop*
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ywpd-translations · 10 months ago
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Ride 758: The senpai's few words
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Pag 2
1: Aoyagi-san!!
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Pag 3
1: Wha- what happened, Danchiku, you stopped so suddenly
2: Why is he here, in Kyushu!?
What is it, what is it
4: He's probably the person I'd want to see the most right now!!
5: What is it, is there someone in the audience area?
Someone you know? You look so surprised
I wouldn't be so surprised even if someone was there
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Pag 4
2: He-hello!! You... you came to... cheer us on!?
3: It's been a while, Danchiku
4: Yes.... yes!!
Thank you so much for coming so far to see us!!
5: You got bigger
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Pag 5
2: Thank you so much
3: Uhm, actually
There's something I'd like to talk to you about, is that....
4: Aoyagi-saaaan!!
-okay!?
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Pag 6
1: What, for real!?
What, are you really here- amaaazing!!
Oi, Issa, I was....
2: Wait... did you just made Aoyagi-san lose consciousness with your tackle!?
3: Aoyagi-saaan!! Hahahaha!!
You're attacking him when he's already down...!!
4: I'm... o... okay...
No, he keeps pausing while talking!!
Hahaha
5: I'll lead you to our tent!! Carry him, Danchiku!!
'Carry him'....
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Pag 7
2: Thank you
2: I wished you had told me you'd come though, Aoyagi!!
You forgot to add “san”, Kabuagi
3: There was something... I wanted to talk to you about but
4: I guess it can't be helped....
(You're ending up yielding again, Danchiku)
5: Ah right
6: Aoyagi-san is
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Pag 8
1: A member of last year's team!!
He's the column who supported Sohoku from below last year!!
2: Someone who gained experience through hard work and difficulties and debuted in his third year, ran as a sprinter, pulled the team, and brought back the members so many times
3: Without talking, without refusing, he just did it silently!!
5: Even when he was in a pinch, when he was injured, he moved forward with all his might without ever standing out!!
If he hadn't been there, there's no way Sohoku could have won!!
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Pag 9
1: He-he sounds amazing, teh
Right!! I'm really flashy, so his way of running is probably the exact opposite of mine
2: Hearing it again, he really is an amazing person.....
and I also know well what happened with his leg on the third day
4: If I was in the same position and got injured.... would I be able to run the same way?
5: “He'll run away right away”
“He's a chicken”
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Pag 10
1: In this Inter High that is about to start
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Pag 11
1: Since Aoyagi-san came to see us, I'll smash the starting dash!
There's no need to smash, run calmly
2: Should I get subbed out?
I'm still in time
4: “No one will blame you”
“I can be done in fifteen minutes”
5: I'm at my peak now!!
Save it for the race
6: You're an idiot as usual
I'll forgive everything you say, Aoyagi-san!!
7: What can I do, what......
Nothing....!!
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Pag 12
1: The stage event is starting soon
Last year's champions, Sohoku High School, representative of Chiba, please come to the stage
Kakaka, it's our turn!!
2: Teh.... I'm nervous, the
There's gonna be tons of spectators!!
3: Do-do we take a video? I'll do it, Sugimoto-san
I'll leave it to you then. I'll finish up here
4: Su-
Sugimoto-san!!
6: Ao.... yagi-san.....
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Pag 13
1: Could you do me one favor?
2: Ah- yes!
Do you want something to eat!! Right away!!
3: The food truck is there... is curry alright?
4: …. no
5: A band-aid!? A nail-clipper!?
Leave it to me, after all I worked a lot behind-the-scene last year
6: Oi, Danchiku, what are you doing. Let's go
8: Ye.... yes
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Pag 14
1: Take care of that idiot
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Pag 15
3: The Inter High is harsh and long
But he's reckless and can't read the air
5: You, on the other hand
6: You always keep an eye on your surroundings and pay attention to what people say and do
And that means
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Pag 16
1: That you can make an accurate judgment of risk in any situation
3: The ability to read small details when you're in a pinch is essential in road racing
4: Earlier in the midst of more than a hundred people in the audience area, you
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Pag 17
1: found me at one glance
4: I think you know this too, but he can only look ahead
Please support him, take a step back and, as always
5: be watchful
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Pag 18
2: Yessir!! Thank you so much!!
4: “Take a step back”.....!! Taking a step back.... yielding, are my...
5: If this small heart is my ability
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Pag 19
2: then I'll be the one running, Issa!!
Together with you!!
At full throttle!!
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Pag 20
1: Run, Danchiku
Just like I did last year
2: with Junta
3: I'm sure your feelings will give you strength
These are the members of Sohoku, the Chiba prefecture representative who won the championship last year
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Pag 21
1: So far they have won two times in a row
3: What's wrong.... your balloon... shall I get it for you?
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Pag 22
2: Thank you, Onii-chan
3: That's surprising, Midosuji-san
You're so kind
4: Puku.... I am kind, though?
To
5: anyone who doesn't wear a number bib, that is!!
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moregraceful · 6 days ago
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people in my faith group: damn we didn't know you are so creative and enjoy art and creative writing so much but that's really cool that you want to help our members process through art
me: me and some friends have a creative group that meets pretty regularly to exchange prompts and encourage each other to create things 😊 it's a good way to keep your heart beating and keep yourself feeling alive
and that art group that meets regularly? @timebegins-onopeningday
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blujayonthewing · 7 months ago
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pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"
#trying to plan a solo cicada pilgrimage and getting brainworms about it yeehaw#'making a lot of plans and never actually doing things in real life' has been a problem for literally as long as I can remember#but I also feel like I've developed a learned helplessness over the last several years that's gotten worse as I've gotten older??#me age twenty: I think I'm gonna take myself to chicago next week because I feel like going to the zoo#me age thirty: am I allowed to go camping alone. am I allowed to do a solo road trip. I need a grownup#to be extremely clear I am very much allowed and this is not justin's fault and I don't know where it comes from#like I'll run things by him lowkey seeking 'permission' that I don't even need and he'll be like 'yeah that sounds good to me'#and then I STILL won't do the thing because like. my brain keeps insisting there needs to be a grownup in charge?? HELLO I'M GROWNUP#anyway I'm doing cicada trip solo BECAUSE-- the drive is so long I want to do five days because two of them will just be driving#and he can't get that much time off work right now#AND because I literally only want to Be Camping and Looking At Bugs but he'd get bored of a week of that he likes Activities#me this morning getting insecure and weird: what are your thoughts... on cicada voyage....#him after at first not even understanding the question: I'm SO excited for you?? you deserve to get to go absolutely feral???#I do.... ;n; 💕 why am I so scared to be a person.......#about me#cicada quest
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non-un-topo · 24 days ago
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I realize I've been so flaky with responding to asks, finishing my drawings or fics I promised, etc. I've kind of been drifting in and out of tumblr without interacting much. Real life just finally started, and I need to build up a ton of motivation and find time before I can work on a fandom project. Just wanted to say that I'm still here and still working on stuff, just slowly.
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abrushwithdeath · 6 months ago
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((I'm gonna try to be around a little bit today, so let me know if you want me to send memes your way!!!
This goes for people I'm already writing with AND anyone I haven't had a chance to write with yet, by the way <3))
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soppsop · 1 year ago
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i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((
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coriander-candlesticks · 4 months ago
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I've been trying to figure out how to incorporate religious practice into my life & trying to get over the fear of being...annoying? If that's the right word? It feels a little like tugging on the gods' sleeves when I make more than one offering a day to them even though I know I'm not, like, being rude by *checks notes* giving them things or dedicating time/activities to them. Today I made a dessert in preparation for tomorrow's Pathfinder game and dedicated that time spent baking to Hestia and Aphrodite, and it was really nice! I feel like I'm starting to find my footing despite my worries. I'm also trying to make sure I take time where I'm not thinking about religion at all so that I don't start to ruminate/spiral. It's happened a few times already to varying degrees and it's! Not fun!
It's possible it's hindsight/confirmation bias, but I do think the vibes of my tarot deck changed when I started reaching out to the Greek deities. It makes sense: I was using my deck to reach out to a completely different deity/deities before I started exploring Hellenic polytheism. And it's definitely not in a bad way, just more energetic and...light? When before it was heavier (in a comforting way). I've gotten consistently coherent pulls, too, which is nice.
I've been trying to remember to pour a libation to Hermes at certain street corners when I'm out & about, but I have to make a game plan for when other people are also in the area, even if it's just psyching myself up so I don't look awkward while I do it. I have a pendant that I keep in front of his altar/shrine jar that I try to remember to take with me when I travel, and it's been cool having something in my pocket that's consistently reminding me of him because I check so often to make sure it's still there. There were some...issues with my commute on Monday (a true comedy of errors on the city's part) but the change in routine was a *lot* easier to handle in the morning. Of course, the unusually cool temperature helped, but I do accredit the smooth transition to Hermes because I wasn't stressed at *all* for the vast majority of my commute when I usually would have been wiped from the mental/sensory strain of having to pivot & kinda just hope I guessed right on what to do next. The commute home was a nightmare but I didn't have a whole-ass work day ahead of me after that so the stress didn't matter as much (and I was able to get through the last bus ride & walk from the stop which I wasn't sure I'd have the mental fortitude for).
I'm almost done with the statue of Hermes I've been working on, and I finished a set of alphabet oracle "stones" (squares made from air dry clay...would that technically be closer to potsherds?) tonight. I'll share a picture of them once I finish their bag- I have some leftover green cotton yarn from a recent project that I think will go well with them. We'll see how well they hold up, though I'm not planning on doing the "shake them until one falls out" method so hopefully they'll last a while. I worked on them in the living room this evening, instead of in my room. I'm getting more comfortable showing little elements of what I've been exploring to my housemates; it was nice to be able to sit & paint & listen to the iliad while my friend did his own thing next to me on the couch.
I'm still trying to figure out how to gauge each housemates' potential reactions. It'll probably be fine: friend 1 actively has an altar-esque space and uses tarot cards and a pendulum and friend 2 is friend 1's wife. I'm a bit worried about friend 3 being weird about it, at least at first, but considering he was experimenting with witchcraft-esque things a few years ago (I distinctly remember charms & him discussing which of the wheel of the year days he wanted to observe) I think I'm overthinking things. He's an atheist & his view of witchcraft was, at the very least, *similar* to the psych model, which I think is where the hesitation has been coming from on my end. I have therapy this weekend so I think I'll start bringing things up then. The office my therapist is in openly advertises all sorts of alt/witchcraft things so I think I'll be safe there lol
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jmtorres · 4 months ago
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in a variant of useless arguments that unfortunately i can't just use the block button on, i am reliving a wtfry from like five years ago because i'm trying to sort through my medical history and figure out if i have any further lurking disasters and i'm currently stuck on
me: i am trying to eat healthier so i want to add more fruits and vegetables to my diet
nutritionist: no don't eat more fruits! that's too much sugar! sugar is bad for you!
like really we're not talking about processed foods or added sugars, this person straight up told me there was too much sugar in raw, fresh fruit
#please god let my labwork imbalances rebalance#i've been prediabetic off and on for a decade and my last A1c was 5.5 so it's not getting worse & i need doctors to get off my ass about it#and I absolutely KNOW if you push me certain ways about food i'll go orthorexic if not anorexic#(and they won't even treat it like an illness because I'm fat)#(at a checkup last week I was commenting on my surgical recover and i lamented 'and i'm still losing weight' and the doc was like 'good!')#(bitch my weightloss was a symptom of an organ crisis i could have died of. no it's not good! i want to STABILIZE!)#i've spent years disentangling myself from the toxic diet culture shit my mother dumped on me like drink a glass of water to feel full#fuck that i barely ever feel hungry in the first place i need to listen to what signals i do get#and after all my hard work they're gonna try to drag me back in#i just fuckin know it#it's not like trying to balance my current dietary restrictions isn't borderline orthorexic already#but i feel like i have a grasp on why i do it and when moderation vs strict adherence is okay#and from past experience counting calories is the line where i will fully go insane#maybe 25 years on I could resist but i don't want to try#i would rather go on metformin or some other fuckin' drug i don't really need than count calories#ugh it's a week until my next appointment to talk about this it would be great if it would get out of my brain until then#chronic illness#medical bullshit#food bullshit
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fuckinmemesman · 3 months ago
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have no fear, I came back with a positive post to make up for yesterday's complaining!
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altruistic-meme · 11 months ago
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my cats are so mad at me bc I keep not going to sleep at the Set Time bc I had been mad-dash crocheting every morning and im just. so sad for them. bc im about to fuck up the schedule even worse.
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glittercorvid · 3 months ago
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i told my team i was leaving and every single one of them decided to quit too. leadership skills may not be perfect but i sure led them to the lifeboats when i noticed the ship had started taking on water!!
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gentlethorns · 8 months ago
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lol i got decisions back from all four of my grad school apps and none of them were acceptances. i got waitlisted by one and outright denied by the other three. fuck man
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famewolf · 8 months ago
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im punching and punching and punching my anxiety today
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i-appear-misssing · 4 months ago
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I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop
#this one is straight so there's no room for delusion which is good#but my burning need to be her most favorite is eating me from the inside#it IS making me better at my job though#.......i mean i think so but what the fuck do i know#on friday night amongst the grueling psychosexual chaos that ensued a very smart guy that I LOVE said to me#i have no doubts you're gonna be a great psychiatrist actually#i traded a month with him to have another month with her#he's a phenomenologist she's a psychodynamic....ist? rival theories#I don't like most of psychodynamic theory.......so far#but i love the way she works and i can see how well it fits with her manymanyMANY patients and goddamnit i love personality dosorders#so i made the choice to go with her yes and im very torn casue i LOVE that guy and i wish i could become his friend like my bff from my year#also.......kind of dumb of me since I'd only soend two days a week woth her and the other three with very scary ladies#but I've been in scarier situation i can manage#and god when she praises me (silently obv she's only been forward about my merit ONCE and i almost pissed myself like an overexcited dog)#the endorphin rush is........man#but yes i need to work on this.......idk how to define it. closest i can get to explaining it is professional sub space#with strong aspects of praise kink#pathetic is what it is really#but hey if it makes me study harder who fucking cares right#I'm gonna be the smartest most intuitive fucking bitch amongst my peers so if I can't have her (them) carnally then goddamnit#I'LL HAVE THEIR PRAISE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRATION AT LEAST#........I'll be normal again in a week or two i just need to get over these next couple of days of....idk. inflammation i guess#yeah it's just like an infected wound right now#angry red throbbing hot pain#i know the drill it'll be better in a couple of days you just need to not freak out and let it do its thing#it's nice to be mature-r about emotional impulsivity and the shame that comes after an episode of deregulation#it really doesn't have to be a big deal even while it still feels like it#it still hurts but it's like......hour three of a tattoo. it's a bitch but you know it's gonna be over eventually and wriggling won't work#the only thing left to do is enjoying it all while it's happening or trying to#I don't think I'm doing a great job but what're you gonna do right
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